Saturday, July 30, 2011
Noodle Time!!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Update & New Photos!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thoughts from my reading
I came across the following quote in a book I'm currently reading:
"...In keeping with our cultural biases, we have tended to overemphasize intellectual truth to the detriment of experiential truth - learning the truth by practicing it. We have been solidly concerned with true understandings of Biblical doctrine. We have largely conformed our teaching to what can easily be done in a classroom – conveying information. We have, therefore, tended to ignore the considerable body of truth that only comes through launching out in faith – dependence on God, truth that cannot be reduced to information (John 3:21). We fail to see that it is experiential truth that is in focus in verses such as John 3:21, "But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God." And John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (Notice: "know the truth" = knowledge, "set you free" = experience)
Had we not narrowed our understanding of truth to the informational and intellectual aspects of it, we might well have gone further in understanding and participating in the more supernaturalistic dimensions of our relationship with God. For experiencing a life of faith gets one well beyond that which can be rationally understood."
My prayer: That the gap between my Biblical knowledge and my day to day experience lessens. That my faith in what God says manifests itself daily in my life, experience, reactions, expectations and decisions. I believe in a supernatural, all-powerful, infinitely wise God who has filled me with the Holy Spirit and His power …May I daily believe that and live that.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
“Prepare to Wait”
So and we've been speculating about the EP situation in Korea and came to conclusion that we would not get an EP (considering there are people who were matched in February who haven't even been submitted for an EP and were May 20th!) This would mean it would be next year until were even submitted for one. We speculated that we'd get submitted in February and be approved in March and travel in April. Of course this was just conjecture and speculation; that is until the other day. That's when we got an email that said to prepare NOT to get an EP this year, and DO prepare to bring home a baby who is close to two years old - Yes...2 years old – a toddler. This confirmed our speculations. I don't have too many thoughts right now except I'm just gonna keep walking the road God's put us on, and I'm determined to bring Him glory regardless (through His strength and faithfulness)
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." -Ephesians 3:20
This I believe.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
The birthmother
I think often about Addison reuniting with her birthmother. I send her birthmother photos, videos, and letters so she will be able to watch her grow up and know she is thriving and loved. I also want Addison to know I valued her birth mother enough to foster this communication. It's a very small thing, but I feel Addison will want this, and will want to know she has my blessing if and when she wants to meet her birthmother. I never want her to feel as though I might be upset when she desires to pursue this relationship. God has been, and continues to teach me to hold my children VERY loosely. They are gifts, not possessions. I didn't feel this way initially, but my heart has had a drastic 180 since we first started the adoption process and I began to pray for her birthmother. Prayer changes hearts.
I say all of this because I ran across a touching video that depicts a Korean adoptee reuniting with her birthmother. She explains the conflicting emotions connected with this situation. It is so personal, touching, insightful and gives me a glimpse into what may be in store for my daughter…and the prospect of sharing her with her birthmother.
No Good News
We were notified by our agency that no EPs would be processed in July. There was a lengthy, drawn-out explanation that I do not wish to recount and my opinion on the explanation isn't something I'm going to share, nor would it be beneficial for anyone who reads my blog, so I have kept it hidden amongst the pages of my personal journal. When I contemplate this entire situation, which is entirely political, I tend to react…but these decisions, made by powerful people in a foreign country, directly impact many people and when I bring this information to a personal level; something I dread to do, I become very sad. I have a beautiful little girl in Korea, a little girl I love, for whom I've bought clothes, prayed for, created a room for, bought furniture for, and simply adore. She is beautiful, perfect…and yet she is no closer to coming home today than she was in June. She won't be any closer till next year…maybe. She is languishing and I'm sad.
During my devotions I always pray a random Psalm. I have no schedule I just browse the Psalms until I find one that speaks to my heart. It's random, but I find God always uses the ones I pray. I also I find this aligns my prayers and heart with God's so my prayers aren't selfish and misguided…well it helps. Anyway, this morning I was browsing, and I came upon Psalm 136. Here is a small excerpt:
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders,
His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding made the heavens,
His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth upon the waters,
His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights—
His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern the day,
His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night;
His love endures forever.
I almost didn't pray it because I it said, "His love endures forever," way too much; it says it 26 times! (I realize as I write this that is a very stupid reason...but it was very early!) But I did pray it and as I prayed, I was reminded, comforted, and strengthened by the fact that God's love does endure forever. If you read this Psalm it kind of odd really; Look at what I mean:
Verse 10: To him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt
His love endures forever
Verse 17: Who struck down great Kings
His love endures forever
Verse 18: and killed mighty kings
His love endures forever
I find this odd because I don't think about God's love when He kills kings, or when I read about the firstborn children in Egypt being killed. But then I thought, God did this to protect his children, to ensure they could fulfill the plan he had for them,(I'm sure there are other reasons, but I'm not chasing that rabbit trail this morning) and in that light I can see God's love. I don't see God's love right now in this situation, but I know His love endures forever. I know this because God reminded me of this 26 times this morning - in every verse I read.
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.
His love endures forever.
Monday, July 11, 2011
The 4th of July!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Pictures & Video!!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Nothin’ New
So, were about 10 weeks into our adoption, and our "timeframe" is more ambiguous than ever. The question everyone wants so know is, "When will you get her?" In short, we have no idea. We should have a better idea towards the end of August or beginning of September, but until then we are in limbo. Here's what's happened. Korea only allows a certain number of children to be adopted internationally. This number is automatically decreased every year because there is great political pressure to end international adoption. Because of this pressure, the government decreases the number based on whatever percentage they need to reduce international adoption for that year, not based on the number of children in foster care.
So what happens is each agency receives a limited number of Emigration Permits every year, and every year they receive less and less. (An Emigration Permit, or an EP, is the document issued by the government allowing children to leave the country for adoption) What's sad is that the agencies have more children in care than they do Emigration Permits. So this means each year they get further and further behind in placing their children in homes. Why is this happening? Because international adoption is a hot topic in Korea and politically it looks good to be able to report to the general public that "Yes, we have reduced international but such and such %, and we intend to end international adoptions by this date." The fact that is being overlooked is that the problem of orphaned children is still there, but now the problem is being hidden behind charts that show artificial numbers of reduced international adoptions. What is not widely publicized is that the number of Korean children in foster care is steadily growing every year because the government will not allow them to be adopted internationally and Koreans in general have long standing, cultural biases against adopting (This attitude is slowly changing, but not fast enough to find homes for all who need them)
So, what does this mean for us? Our agency is behind in issuing EPs as is every agency. They only got through August or September 2010 last year, so when 2011 began they started 4-5 months behind. We are now in June and they have started to run low on EPs. They have issued them for most of the people who had February 2011 referrals, but NO EPs are being submitted or approved by the Korean government at all this month (The government gave no reason for the sudden halt) This is very worrisome as it most likely indicates they re running very low. There is general speculation that if we are not submitted for our EP in July, we may not be submitted at this year as there will be none left to give. This may or may not transpire, all we know is we may or may not make the cut this year. If we do, we could travel to Korea in the fall, but if not, we won't travel till February or March of 2012. That would make our little Avery about 18 months old when we get her. I have never heard of anyone having a year wait from referral to travel with our agency, (Other agencies yes, but not ours) but it is a very real possibility for us right now.
Anyway, I am refusing to do much speculation right now, as it will do nothing but breed frustration and anger. I will not allow this to steal my peace or pervade my mood. I even waited a day before posting this so I would be less emotional and be able to process it all. I am not going to be derailed by circumstances, and I will not allow the time I do have with my kids to be ruined or stolen by an adoption setback. Avery is in Gods hands and there is no better place for her. I want her home, but I'm content with where God has me and my biggest longing is to know Him more. I would love my baby girl NOW, but until then, I will rest in His hands.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Fountains!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Idolatry
I read an interesting post on indentifying idolatry in your life. It was pointed, direct, and telling. Here is an excerpt:
"Life only has meaning/I only have worth if…
- I have power and influence over others." (Power Idolatry)
- I am loved and respected by _____." (Approval Idolatry)
- I have this kind of pleasure experience, a particular quality of life." (Comfort idolatry)
- I am able to get mastery over my life in the area of _____." (Control idolatry)
- people are dependent on me and need me." (Helping Idolatry)
- someone is there to protect me and keep me safe." (Dependence idolatry)
- I am completely free from obligations or responsibilities to take care of someone." (Independence idolatry)
- I am highly productive and getting a lot done." (Work idolatry)
- I am being recognized for my accomplishments, and I am excelling in my work." (Achievement idolatry)
- I have a certain level of wealth, financial freedom, and very nice possessions." (Materialism idolatry)
- I am adhering to my religion's moral codes and accomplished in its activities." (Religion idolatry)
- this one person is in my life and happy to be there, and/or happy with me." (Individual person idolatry)
- I feel I am totally independent of organized religion and am living by a self-made morality." (Irreligion idolatry)
- my race and culture is ascendant and recognized as superior." (Racial/cultural idolatry)
- a particular social grouping or professional grouping or other group lets me in." (Inner ring idolatry)
- my children and/or my parents are happy and happy with me." (Family idolatry)
- Mr. or Ms. "Right" is in love with me." (Relationship Idolatry)
- I am hurting, in a problem; only then do I feel worthy of love or able to deal with guilt." (Suffering idolatry)
- my political or social cause is making progress and ascending in influence or power." (Ideology idolatry)
- I have a particular kind of look or body image." (Image idolatry)
If you seek POWER (success, winning, influence)…
- Your greatest nightmare: Humiliation
- People around you often feel: Used
- Your problem emotion: Anger
- Your greatest nightmare: Rejection
- People around you often feel: Smothered
- Your problem emotion: Cowardice
- Your greatest nightmare: Stress, demands
- People around you often feel: Neglected
- Your problem emotion: Boredom
- Your greatest nightmare: Uncertainty
- People around you often feel: Condemned
- Your problem emotion: Worry
