Pslam 121

Psalm 121

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

There are times there is really nothing to say, and whatever words you have are so inadequate to express whats buried deep inside, that you stutter, and then choose to be silent.  This is where I am and this is the passage God gave me. He is my refuge.  He alone is my hope.  All else is meaningless and futile.

Unity & Prayer

"I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:20b-23.

I was reading this the other day when I noticed for the first time ever that Jesus says, when His people are one THEN the world will know that God has sent Jesus. The "if" "then" nature of that verse struck me. When believers unify, then the world will see Jesus. I was, and still am, very struck by this.

In that same Bible study time I ran across this video series that illustrated this very truth. It's interesting to me how God lays truths on my heart and then faithfully brings things related to that very same topic over and over. (I need MUCH repetition to learn!) Right now, He's continually showing me the power of prayer and unity. This video illustrates its power. I hope you're inspired to forgive and pray fervently after watching it. I know I was. 





 If my people who are called by My name, humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

Psalm 77: a reflection of my heart

Last night we heard from some dear friends of ours who have been fostering a couple girls now for a year and a half. They were told their court date to terminate parental rights had been cancelled and they were instead working the girls back into the home. Having been involved with them for over a year and being friends with the foster parents, I can say with all assurance that going home is NOT a good idea; and in fact would be a tragedy for those girls and a complete failure of the foster system to protect them. These are girls we have grown to love, have prayed for and helped care for so this news was upsetting to say the least. I woke up this morning with this still looming and weighing heavy on my heart. I just cried out to God on their behalf. How can He allow them to go home? How can a family sacrifice so much for them just to have them ripped out of their lives? Its beyond my comprehension. As I was pleading for them I went to Psalms, as I always do, to find my psalm to pray for the morning. This is what God gave me. (He is so good!)

I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and He will hear me.

² In my day of trouble I sought the Lord.
My hands were lifted up all night long;
I refused to be comforted.

³ I think of God; I groan;
I meditate; my spirit becomes weak.

Selah

⁴ You have kept me from closing my eyes;
I am troubled and cannot speak.

⁵ I consider days of old,
years long past.

⁶ At night I remember my music;
I meditate in my heart, and my spirit ponders.

⁷ "Will the Lord reject forever
and never again show favor?

⁸ Has His faithful love ceased forever?
Is [His] promise at an end for all generations?

⁹ Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger withheld His compassion?"

Selah

¹⁰ So I say, "It is my sorrow
that the right hand of the Most High has changed."

¹¹ I will remember the LORD's works;
yes, I will remember Your ancient wonders.

¹² I will reflect on all You have done
and meditate on Your actions.

¹³ God, Your way is holy.
What god is great like God?

¹⁴ You are the God who works wonders;
You revealed Your strength among the peoples.

¹⁵ With power You redeemed Your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

Selah

¹⁶ The waters saw You, God.
The waters saw You; they trembled.
Even the depths shook.

¹⁷ The clouds poured down water.
The storm clouds thundered;
Your arrows flashed back and forth.

¹⁸ The sound of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;
lightning lit up the world.
The earth shook and quaked.

¹⁹ Your way went through the sea,
and Your path through the great waters,
but Your footprints were unseen.

²⁰ You led Your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

 I thank you dear Father for hearing my cry, and the cry of others. Thank you God that Your way is holy and that no god is great like You. I praise you for You are the God who works wonders; and although my spirit is weak and I am troubled, I know that you are here, walking beside me, the girls, my friends, …but Your footprints are unseen.

Thoughts from my reading

I came across the following quote in a book I'm currently reading:

"...In keeping with our cultural biases, we have tended to overemphasize intellectual truth to the detriment of experiential truth - learning the truth by practicing it. We have been solidly concerned with true understandings of Biblical doctrine. We have largely conformed our teaching to what can easily be done in a classroom – conveying information. We have, therefore, tended to ignore the considerable body of truth that only comes through launching out in faith – dependence on God, truth that cannot be reduced to information (John 3:21). We fail to see that it is experiential truth that is in focus in verses such as John 3:21, "But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God." And John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (Notice: "know the truth" = knowledge, "set you free" = experience)

Had we not narrowed our understanding of truth to the informational and intellectual aspects of it, we might well have gone further in understanding and participating in the more supernaturalistic dimensions of our relationship with God. For experiencing a life of faith gets one well beyond that which can be rationally understood."

My prayer: That the gap between my Biblical knowledge and my day to day experience lessens. That my faith in what God says manifests itself daily in my life, experience, reactions, expectations and decisions. I believe in a supernatural, all-powerful, infinitely wise God who has filled me with the Holy Spirit and His power …May I daily believe that and live that.

Prayer Please

I was asked to speak at our church's mother/daughter brunch Saturday. As the date approaches I am a bit nervous. I've never spoken in front of a large croud, not that that makes me nervous, I like speaking. What makes me nervous is that my words can't be changed. Once I say them, they're out there. I can't re-word them or tweek them, nothing. Its done. When I write, I can think about what I've written and change it whenever I want. I'm suddenly struck by the weight of this task and really want every word, phrase, and thought to be exactly what God wants from me. Please pray I bring Him great glory and follow His leading. Thank you so, so much.

My Prayer…

"As to myself, I would tell you how it is with me if I could: at the best, it would be an inconsistent account…I am a sinner, believing in the name of Jesus. I am a silly sheep, but I have a gracious, watchful Shepherd. I am a dull scholar, but I have a Master who can make the dullest learn. He still bears with me, He still employs me, He still enables me, He still owns me. Oh for a coal of heavenly fire to warm my heart, that I might praise him as I ought! "

-John Newton in a letter to D. West, Esq. (August 29, 1774)

Were outta here!!!

I found out this morning that we were logged out of the National Visa Center Friday, January 29th!!!! This means that our file is now at the embassy in Seoul South Korea!!! The embassy is where her actual Visa will be issued, so this is a big step!!! I’m very encouraged by the speed at which all of this has happened!!! It only took one week for file to be processed and sent to Seoul which is really incredible; especially considering the fact that Haitian Visas are now the priority!

I’m so grateful that God has mercifully allowed this to be quick!!! At this point it is safe to say we will have her home sometime in March. In spite of the great news, we still covet your prayers, and heres how you can specifically pray:

• Pray the Koran Government will approve her Emigration Permit very soon. We need this to get her Visa, and this is the only document for which we are still waiting. (We think we’ll get it by next week, but I’d love it sooner!)
• Pray that the rest of the paperwork and appointments will go smoothly and quickly without complication so we can get her home ASAP!!
• Pray her seizures remained controlled and that we find a good pediatric neurologist and can eventually take her off her medication.
• Pray she adjusts quickly to us and her transition is smooth.

Update on Addison…(here we go again)

Its ironic that I just taught a lesson over fear at Bible study Monday night and then am struggling with it the very next day. (I guess God wants me to live what I teach..amazing..I thought I had this one down?!) I got a new medical update on Addison. I thought it was odd, because we already got her well baby check for October and won't get anything again until the end of November. I opened the attachments to find that the doctor and FM were noting that "she wags her head and arms three times for 2-3 second intervals, but then stops when she is held." (What does "wag" mean anyway???) In addition, she has significant head lag still at 6 months old.

Now I realize that this could be nothing at all, but I also realize it could be something. The "little something" we noted with our first referral ended up being HUGE, even life threatening. So we've decided to ask for video of both the head lag and the "wag of the head and arms." We are also requesting an EEG be done just to rule out any seizure activity. There is a huge part of me that really doesn't think anything is wrong…after all, seizures don't stop when a child is held, but there is still some uncertainty mixed in. I believe this is just the foster mom and doctors being extra careful, which I'm thankful for. Whatever the case may be, this report is unsettling and I would, yet again, ask for your prayers. I've chosen not to worry knowing that God is gracious in all that He does, but your prayers would definitely be appreciated as we pray for this situation and in doing so, thank God for is mercy, provision, and choose to trust him, even though I feel very prone to fret.

I ended Monday night's Bible study with the following verse: "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-8. Pray that the peace of God guards our hearts and that our little girl is found to be healthy. Thanks so much. We appreciate you all.

God's Path

How I know God ordained this path for us.

#1 Christa: God placed her in my life so when I lost the referral, I had someone to talk to who understood, had walked this exact path, and clung to God though this process. Incidentally she also has three boys! (Losing a referral is an unusual thing and doesn’t happen frequently so this is truly Gods divine hand.)

#2 His presence: He has been exceptionally close and has sustained me in countless ways. His presence has been sweetly comforting and has given me a peace that truly passes my understanding.

#3 We had already discussed losing a referral long before we ever got a referral.

#4 Each morning I get up, the lessons, sermons, or chapters I read for my devotions has dealt with God’s sovereignty, His incredible love, or His compassion for us. Every morning He continually reminds me that He loves me and is near.

#5 Our next baby’s name will be Addison Hope: Addison after this baby we lost (Her name was Brooke Addison), and Hope because God has given me great hope even in sadness. Her name will be a testament to His faithfulness. To Him the glory.

#7 The Bible teaches this: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

Sidenote: We truly thank you for your prayers. They mean so much to us. We are overwhelmed with your concern, and the fact that so many have decided to pray for us and Brooke. Little Brooke needs much prayer, so we thank for your continued prayers as well.

A Psalm

Psalm 143:8

Let me experience Your faithful love in the morning, for I trust in You. Reveal to me the way I should go because I long for You.

Broken

I’m so sad. I just feel engulfed by emptiness and inhabited by a lonely hallow. My baby isn’t mine. I’ll never hold her. How many times did I touch her face as I stared at her on my computer screen. I’ll never touch her. I’ll never hold her. Oh Please God place her in the arms of a family who will adore her and love her and pray over her; a family that will kiss her since I can’t. Show her Yourself and make her heart adore the God whose greatness is beyond my sorrow. To You be the glory.

Some Questions Answered

I’ve had quite a few questions about Brooke, so I thought I’d answer a couple of them here.

#1) Will she be adopted even though she has health problems?
-Yes, there is a program called “The Waiting child Program” that is strictly for parents who want to adopt children with various health issues. Some people wait up to a year to be matched with one of these children, so yes, I believe she will be adopted…hopefully very soon. (I explained this is an earlier post..so click here to read more)

#2) Why couldn’t your family adopt her?
When couples first apply to adopt, they are given a health checklist which basically is a list of health problems a child might have. You check any you would be open to and to what severity (mild moderate, serious). We checked quite a few, but none of the problems Brooke developed were ones we had agreed to. In addition to that, her problems were serious and were going to require extensive care. The agency felt she would be better matched with a family who had previously requested such needs and were better prepared to meet her medical needs. My head agrees, but my heart doesn’t.

How to pray for Brooke.
· Pray her condition doesn’t’ worsen and that she can have a relatively normal life.
· Pray she is placed with a Christian family who will nurture her physically and spiritually.
· Pray the doctors in Korea can find the source of her problems and treat them effectively.
· Pray that she comes to know Christ as her Savior.

Update on Brooke

All adoptive parents receive regular medical updates on their children. We get one every month. Upon Brooke being referred to us, we received her entire file which included all of these medical check-ups. We had a doctor look at everything and she was deemed to be in great health by her American & Korean doctors. (Just FYI, Korea has health care which is on par with the US. They’re a very affluent, developed nation) This last Wednesday we received a new medical update, like always, but this time there were some noted problems that were newly discovered. She had an EEG and it was determined by the neurologist that she was having seizures. There was other information noted too, but for the sake of her privacy and the length of my post, I’ll spare you those details. At any rate, as various doctors reviewed her file, her prognosis became more and more uncertain. There are many risks and unknowns associated with her symptoms and right now there is no way of telling how all of this will affect her.

When we applied to adopt, we were admitted into the “Regular Korea Program” which means we were approved and agreed to adopt a healthy baby girl. There is an alternative program called the “Waiting Child Program” which is a program where couples are approved to adopt a child with certain health problems, some mild, moderate and others severe. (The parent choose what they are open to) Because we are not in the Waiting Child Program, we are not approved to adopt a child with major medical problems. Brooke could very possibly be facing some major health issues. If it is determined that she is, then we will not be permitted to adopt her. We are still awaiting more reports which we expect on Monday, but honestly, we don’t expect her prognosis to improve. We have had a couple doctors look at her file and they are all saying the same thing. (which is not good)

Please pray in the following ways:

1. Pray God is glorified and lifted up regardless of the outcome.
2. Pray for Brooke’s health.
3. Pray that Brooke is placed in a Christian home with parents who love her, even if its not with us.

We do love you all, but honestly, we don't want to explain this over an over as it is a painful subject. We kindly ask that you don't call and ask for more information, because right now we are struggling. Thank you so much for love and understanding. We deeply appreciate your prayers and support. It means more than you'll ever know.

Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

Prayer Specifics

We went on a small trip over Labor Day weekend to visit family. While there we saw many cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends. We were so overwhelmed by everyone’s excitement and interest in Baby Brooke. We greatly appreciated all the people who stated they were already praying for her quick arrival home. Thank you SO much for that! We are moved by your love and concern! I did want to give those praying some very specific things to pray about:

1. Pray we get her “legals” from Holt Korea ASAP! (her “legals” are papers that prove she is an orphan, prove she was relinquished legally, prove she is healthy, etc…)

2. Once we get “legals” they are sent to immigration. Pray we get our i600 immigration form approved ASAP so she can get her Visa. (Immigration can be a huge mess…so please pray this goes smoothly!!)

3. There are many other smaller things to pray about, but these are the two major things looming right now that could slow down her arrival!

Thanks to all of you! We are so grateful of your support and love!