Legals???

Still waiting.............

64 days

9 weeks 1 day

1,536 hours

............and counting

No Legals Yet.

Yup...still no legals. We've been waiting 52 days, (not that I'm counting, well, actually my computer is counting) Everything is just sitting, waiting, stuck...nothing can start without them.

AGAHAGAH! I really feel like this woman right now.

Where are Our Legals?

Good question!! Normally, Legals take 4-6 weeks to arrive from Korea. This is packet of paperwork that contains legal documents that must be submitted with our application for Addison's Visa. Basically, nothing can happen without this paperwork. Everything is hold until we get this. Everything. So, we are currently on our 7^th week waiting for these important papers to arrive. I emailed Holt and they immediately looked into it. They do not know where they are at this point, and we were told to contact them at the end of the week in order to give them time to reach Korea. It is suspected that the Legals are taking longer because she wasn't born in Seoul. I've been told it could be 7-9 weeks as a result of the delays. AHAGAHG! Its so frustrating! Basically, everything has now been pushed back a month. I'm really tired of delays, waiting, and bumps in the road. Ug.

Explanation of "The List"

I’ve had many questions about “the list” and our wait so in this post I will attempt to answer all of them…but am sure I’ll miss some!!

· The published list we are on is “unofficial” and only those who ask to be placed on it are actually in this list. (We are #8 on this “unofficial list”) I can check this list any time as it is published on the “Holt Korea Forum.”

· Holt Korea has an official list which is chronologically arranged by homestudy dates. (our date is 7/23/08) This is not a public list and they will not tell you how many people are in front of you, even if you call them and talk to the director. (I tried this and was still rejected)

· What our angency does when making a “match, or referral” is they look at the baby’s file and the adoptive parents file to see if there is a good match, if so they make the referral. If not, they go to the next couple on the list to see if they are the best match for the child. So I could get a referral before someone who is ahead of me chronologically on the list based on compatibility. This is why “the list” isn’t really a sure fire indication of when you’ll get a referral. It only gives you a ballpark figure as to how close you may be.

· The more medical needs a couple is open to increases your likelihood of being matched sooner. Also, couples who request boys or are open to either gender also get matched much, much faster than couples requesting girls. Couples who request boys with medical conditions get referral even faster! (sometimes they get referrals 5-6 months sooner than those waiting on girls)

What does this mean for us? Well, referrals have slowed tremendously in the past 5 months! Once again, the reason for this has not been disclosed by our agency but here are a few valid speculations based on what I’ve read and heard.

1. Not many girls coming available for adoption in Korea because domestic adoption is increasing and girls are more desired than boys for adoption in that culture.

2. More birth mothers are choosing to parent.

3. There is an increased number of adoptive parents requesting girls, thus backlogging the referrals.

4. There are more people choosing to adopt through Korea because the wait for a Chinese adoption is now about 4-5 years and other international programs have closed because of political issues and failure to meet the Law set forth by the Hague Convention.

If your curious about anything else, just leave a comment!!!

365 days later...

Today marks one full year waiting for our referral. Yes, that’s 365 days. I would like to say were close, but to be frank, I have no idea if we are or not. Things have changed so much since we first applied its really hard to say at this point. First, the wait times have consistently been growing longer. What used to be a 10-12 month wait for a referral is now a 16-24 month wait. (I believe some agencies are quoting a two year wait at this point.) Second, domestic adoption in Korea is growing, which is a good thing, but this also complicates things on our end because there are not as many children available for adoption and the few that come available typically have some type of medical problem…most being minor and correctable. The reason this complicates things is if you haven’t agreed to accept a child with a certain need, then your homestudy will be passed by for someone who has. This could be good or bad as we were open to many minor conditions. There is really no way to say how this will affect our wait, its just another factor. With all of these unforeseen complications, we find ourselves in place where we truly don’t know when we will be matched with a baby. It could be tomorrow, next month, this winter, or worse case scenario; next year. Who knows.

Here is what I do know; I do know God’s timing is best. (I don’t like it AT ALL…but I know that.) I do trust that whatever He has planned is for our good because He is always good. I know He is faithful all the time. But right now, today, I don’t like this place. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I see no end to this wait, and its incredibly frustrating as there is nothing you can do at all and nothing tangible to grasp. God is certainly teaching me to hope solely in Him; to not allow anything to steal my love for Him. It’s a hard lesson, but one I’m slowly, and painfully learning.

If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself. -2 Timothy 2:13

My New Theme Song

I found my new theme song thanks to my "bloggy" friend Candice. Its a perfect reflection of where I am right now. Click here to listen.

Say it isn't so!

I received the monthly update from our adoption agency this morning, and the news was not what I had hoped to see. The wait for families requesting a healthy baby girl has increased…again…it is now approximately 14 months total. (from homestudy approval to referral.) Our homestudy was approved July 28, 2008. At that time we expected a 10-11 month wait. The timeframe lengthened to 12 months around Christmas, and last month it lengthened again to 13 months. Now we are looking at 14 months. That means we might get our referral in September.

This isn’t the fault of the agency. There just haven’t been many baby girls available for adoption and there was a sudden influx of people requesting baby girls last spring and summer. Clearly they can’t control either factor; this is just part of adoption. We will be matched with a baby at some point, and clearly God alone knows when that is. One thing I do know; the baby who is matched with our family will be perfect and I can’t wait to see her.

Dear God, help me wait patiently!

300 days!

We have officially been waiting 300 days today! ...and guess what? We'll still be waiting tomorrow. Waiting is clearly the name of this game. Humm... I guess God's teaching me to wait.

Random Musings

So I was thinking…(always a dangerous endeavor!) about our referral. We think we will get one in July or August if the current time frames hold. The babies are typically 5 months old when they are matched with an international family for adoption. (The Korean law states babies have to remain in country until they are 5 months old before they can be matched with an international couple waiting to adopt. This law was enacted in hopes of encouraging domestic adoption in Korea.)

So, if we are matched with a baby this summer, that means our daughter is already born, and she is one or two months old right now. I saw a two month old baby at Bible study last Monday, and my heart just melted because I realized someone else is loving my baby right now. That reality just hit me so hard. In fact, it was almost stunning. I just wish I could see her face, or know her birthday...anything. I know were getting closer, but right now it seems so far away.

O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness. (Isaiah 25:1)

Nine months later....

We have now been waiting nine months for the referral of our baby girl.

Just for the record; I'm tired of waiting.

I don't have much more to say today. Well...except that my boys are pretty darn cute!