Wednesday, July 22, 2009

365 days later...

Today marks one full year waiting for our referral. Yes, that’s 365 days. I would like to say were close, but to be frank, I have no idea if we are or not. Things have changed so much since we first applied its really hard to say at this point. First, the wait times have consistently been growing longer. What used to be a 10-12 month wait for a referral is now a 16-24 month wait. (I believe some agencies are quoting a two year wait at this point.) Second, domestic adoption in Korea is growing, which is a good thing, but this also complicates things on our end because there are not as many children available for adoption and the few that come available typically have some type of medical problem…most being minor and correctable. The reason this complicates things is if you haven’t agreed to accept a child with a certain need, then your homestudy will be passed by for someone who has. This could be good or bad as we were open to many minor conditions. There is really no way to say how this will affect our wait, its just another factor. With all of these unforeseen complications, we find ourselves in place where we truly don’t know when we will be matched with a baby. It could be tomorrow, next month, this winter, or worse case scenario; next year. Who knows.

Here is what I do know; I do know God’s timing is best. (I don’t like it AT ALL…but I know that.) I do trust that whatever He has planned is for our good because He is always good. I know He is faithful all the time. But right now, today, I don’t like this place. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I see no end to this wait, and its incredibly frustrating as there is nothing you can do at all and nothing tangible to grasp. God is certainly teaching me to hope solely in Him; to not allow anything to steal my love for Him. It’s a hard lesson, but one I’m slowly, and painfully learning.
If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself. -2 Timothy 2:13

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