I’ve had many questions about “the list” and our wait so in this post I will attempt to answer all of them…but am sure I’ll miss some!!
· The published list we are on is “unofficial” and only those who ask to be placed on it are actually in this list. (We are #8 on this “unofficial list”) I can check this list any time as it is published on the “Holt Korea Forum.”
· Holt Korea has an official list which is chronologically arranged by homestudy dates. (our date is 7/23/08) This is not a public list and they will not tell you how many people are in front of you, even if you call them and talk to the director. (I tried this and was still rejected)
· What our angency does when making a “match, or referral” is they look at the baby’s file and the adoptive parents file to see if there is a good match, if so they make the referral. If not, they go to the next couple on the list to see if they are the best match for the child. So I could get a referral before someone who is ahead of me chronologically on the list based on compatibility. This is why “the list” isn’t really a sure fire indication of when you’ll get a referral. It only gives you a ballpark figure as to how close you may be.
· The more medical needs a couple is open to increases your likelihood of being matched sooner. Also, couples who request boys or are open to either gender also get matched much, much faster than couples requesting girls. Couples who request boys with medical conditions get referral even faster! (sometimes they get referrals 5-6 months sooner than those waiting on girls)
What does this mean for us? Well, referrals have slowed tremendously in the past 5 months! Once again, the reason for this has not been disclosed by our agency but here are a few valid speculations based on what I’ve read and heard.
1. Not many girls coming available for adoption in Korea because domestic adoption is increasing and girls are more desired than boys for adoption in that culture.
2. More birth mothers are choosing to parent.
3. There is an increased number of adoptive parents requesting girls, thus backlogging the referrals.
4. There are more people choosing to adopt through Korea because the wait for a Chinese adoption is now about 4-5 years and other international programs have closed because of political issues and failure to meet the Law set forth by the Hague Convention.
If your curious about anything else, just leave a comment!!!