Ok, so I'm just gonna lay it out there and tell you I'm struggling and a bit frustrated. We received notification that our agency would only give us updates on Avery every other month instead of monthly due to the large amount of children currently waiting to be adopted. Although I completely understand the reasoning and it truly does make sense, it was demoralizing. I realize it's a very small thing, but it just seems like every time I get an email update on the Korea program its nothing but bad news. I'm not worried. I'm not stressed. I'm just sad. I'm going miss Avery's first birthday, miss dressing her up for Halloween, miss Christmas…the list keeps growing…and then to top it off, I'm not going to have any idea how she's progressing or developing. It's not a big thing; it's just one more thing. One more thing…again.
Now, I have prayed fervently about my heart and mind throughout this adoption. God has given me great peace about all of this, and although I'm sad, I'm not struggling, or fighting, or angry, or even really discouraged. But today, when I read that last email…I could feel discouragement creeping into my heart. I can't let that into my heart because it will taint everything I say and do and I will not allow Satan to tempt me to despair. He cannot have one day of this wait. This time, this day, is God's and I will not allow sin, temptation, or Satan steal that from me. I will get Avery, there will be day she is placed in my arms, and in that there is great hope. So I just want you to pray for me, and Mark, that we do not give place to frustration, discouragement, or anger. Pray God guards our hearts and fills us with His joy and peace, even when I'm a little sad. Thanks. J
Heather, sending hugs and all I have right at you. You have shown true grace and understanding in each of you adoption journeys. Keep you spirit raised.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely- believe me. We are almost at one year since meeting our kids and still have many months until they join our family. It's hard. But God is good. Praying for you right now as we wait on the Lord's timing. We both know how perfect it is. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your heart. I want to encourage you and love how you said satain can't have one day of this wait. Amen to that! I will pray for you and your family. BTW, I hopped over from the forum.
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